Here we go...

OK so this is my very first time doing something like this, and I am soooo nervous to do this.

I have been reading and reading online blogs for sooo long about weight loss, and weight watchers, and all the inspirational stories of people who just sat down, and did it.

I always wonder 'man I wish I could actually do that... I mean really do that, lose weight' well... now I am sick of wondering why me, WHY NOT ME?!

So my plan for the time being since I can not afford a gym just yet, I am going to watch what I eat for now, and I got a great new game called Active for the wii, which is actually a very very good program... It was a bit discouraging the first time I played it, it was harder than anticipated.... I could not run AT ALL, and it starts with a run, to get your heart going... I think the more that I focus, and the harder I try and the more I make an effort to do these things, I think hopefully it will start paying off.

So to start with some goals for tomorrow I guess....

I am going to go swimming and do some laps in the pool tomorrow, and definitely play the Wii Active game tomorrow and try my hardest to get through a full workout. Hopefully to kind of spice up my cardio routine, or lack there of since I cant do anything, the pool will be my way to ease into my weight loss. Ugh I am so frustrated with how heavy I am... I am 20 years old and the fattest I have EVER been...

I really am nervous about not having any support. As some of my friends are just 'comfortable' with being bigger girls... I am not comfortable anymore... each year the sizes go up, the less and less that I can do. Its so embarrassing not to be able to buy clothes off the rack, and when I do its at two specific stores and they are super expensive.

I guess I just....

I am so over it! I am tired of being lazy. That is the bottom line! I am for the first time in my entire life, really going to try this.

My reasons for losing weight

I want to shop at normal stores
I want to feel comfortable in my own skin
I want to know what it is like to jog, or run
I want to be able to go do things! active things!
I want to look beautiful on my wedding day
I want more than anything to play with my kids
I want to change my life for the better

So, since I got very pumped and decided to this right now, I don't actually have a scale yet... But I know I am at least 330 lbs. I have never even spoken my weight to anyone, I get sick when they weight me for the Dr. god it almost is a liberating experience.

So for my height which is 5 feet 11 inches, I should weight around 179, at the heaviest. so that is my goal... I guess my longer term goal, 151 lbs.... God I want it so bad I can almost taste it.

I should probably make a short term goal... well... I want to lose at least 15 lbs by my birthday, which is September 3rd.

I really hope to find some sort of support, and help along the way... Anyways this hopefully is the first of many of my weight loss journal entries.