Before the start goals

I managed to read the comments on my previous blog, and kind of boost my spirtis a little. I really appreciate the comments, they were very encouraging, and made me re-think the way that I am doing this.

I took this weekend, and did it one day at a time. I handled things that I had been meaning to do for ages, and focused on not eating when I was bored or stressed, and paying attention to what I was eating.

So before I start dieting, I am going to take things slow and do them one at a time. Ill do the gym first, then get a home scale, along with working in food measurments etc. add things when I can.

Monday I was going to meet with the gym people to discuss memberships which I have looked into that whole Pure Fitness $10 a month yay!!! program....

No.

You have to pay a BUNCH of money up front, where as their standard $23 a month plan, over a year is like 4-6 dollars more expensive... so if you want to save 4 dollars, but have to fork over $100 + or more, awesome, if you can't afford that (like me) the $60 ish down and the $23 a month plan is for you.

needless to say I have researched the gym, I wanted to take a tour and everything but I had to get a bank account going so I can stop spending all the cash I have scrounged to save for my europe trip, which took me until literally 5. It was insane with all my other errands.

Anyways....

I along with my boyfriend, are going to meet with the gym people later today (Wednesday) and hopefully... I will come out with a gym membership, we will see.

Thank you to the 4 followers I have that follow, me, just you 4 reading, maybe not even commenting, but just knowing you read this, makes me feel like I have to be honest, and makes me feel supported! thanks for all your encouraging words thus far!

Here we go...

OK so this is my very first time doing something like this, and I am soooo nervous to do this.

I have been reading and reading online blogs for sooo long about weight loss, and weight watchers, and all the inspirational stories of people who just sat down, and did it.

I always wonder 'man I wish I could actually do that... I mean really do that, lose weight' well... now I am sick of wondering why me, WHY NOT ME?!

So my plan for the time being since I can not afford a gym just yet, I am going to watch what I eat for now, and I got a great new game called Active for the wii, which is actually a very very good program... It was a bit discouraging the first time I played it, it was harder than anticipated.... I could not run AT ALL, and it starts with a run, to get your heart going... I think the more that I focus, and the harder I try and the more I make an effort to do these things, I think hopefully it will start paying off.

So to start with some goals for tomorrow I guess....

I am going to go swimming and do some laps in the pool tomorrow, and definitely play the Wii Active game tomorrow and try my hardest to get through a full workout. Hopefully to kind of spice up my cardio routine, or lack there of since I cant do anything, the pool will be my way to ease into my weight loss. Ugh I am so frustrated with how heavy I am... I am 20 years old and the fattest I have EVER been...

I really am nervous about not having any support. As some of my friends are just 'comfortable' with being bigger girls... I am not comfortable anymore... each year the sizes go up, the less and less that I can do. Its so embarrassing not to be able to buy clothes off the rack, and when I do its at two specific stores and they are super expensive.

I guess I just....

I am so over it! I am tired of being lazy. That is the bottom line! I am for the first time in my entire life, really going to try this.

My reasons for losing weight

I want to shop at normal stores
I want to feel comfortable in my own skin
I want to know what it is like to jog, or run
I want to be able to go do things! active things!
I want to look beautiful on my wedding day
I want more than anything to play with my kids
I want to change my life for the better

So, since I got very pumped and decided to this right now, I don't actually have a scale yet... But I know I am at least 330 lbs. I have never even spoken my weight to anyone, I get sick when they weight me for the Dr. god it almost is a liberating experience.

So for my height which is 5 feet 11 inches, I should weight around 179, at the heaviest. so that is my goal... I guess my longer term goal, 151 lbs.... God I want it so bad I can almost taste it.

I should probably make a short term goal... well... I want to lose at least 15 lbs by my birthday, which is September 3rd.

I really hope to find some sort of support, and help along the way... Anyways this hopefully is the first of many of my weight loss journal entries.