So, I know I put that I am starting my diet at 330, but that is false. I have recently weighed myself and I am actually 312.
I was 330 in the begining of June, and my boyfriend went into the hospital and had two surgeries, and I lived there with him for 9 days. I often did forget to eat and cry all the time, I almost lost him three times. So I am assuming I dropped some weight in the hospital with him, none the less, I am going to start at 312, and weigh in every sunday.
I also added another motivating factor to why I am doing this. This december, my boyfriend and I along with my best friend and his boyfriend as taking a trip to europe, and it has been my life long dream to go to paris. I have wanted this more than anything in my life, and I really want more than anything to be thinner than I am now, that way I can not be as self concious in paris as I am here.
I hate swimming, and I wear baggy t-shirts and jeans usually. Yeah sure I dress up occasionally, and when I want to feel girly wear nicer shirts... But then I see myself and I feel so.... gross. Like I did this to myself and there is nothign that can be done. I have overcome a lot in my life, and I want this to be one of the greatest things that I have overcome. I used to be a cutter, as in I used to self-harm, and last month it has been 4 years since I last hurt myself. Today has been one full month and ten days sincem y boyfriend and I have quit smoking.
I feel that I have been so strong when I felt so broken, that this should be no sweat... I am just a very critical person and get discouraged easily, I just want so bad for me not to fail this time...
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2 comments:
I am glad you found my blog too! Every one of us has a bond, but I think there is an extra special one between the ladies that have been over 300... such a battle, and so much pain.
I hope to read more soon!
I can hear the pain and sadness in your blogs. So many of us on here know exactly what you have gone through, are going through, and what you will go through eventually! Talking about your weight and laying it all out there is a HUGE first step in this process. You have done amazing so far, you are being active, aware of what you are eating, and just plain motivated to win this battle!! Keep going, and when you feel like giving up, remember to reach out to all of us that have been there. We're here to help you, encourage you, motivate you, and support you!
Welcome to the blog world, you will meet some truly amazing people on here!!!
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