Reasons to lose the weight!

I want to remember the way this feels.... the way that every bit of this feels. I had the most unpleasant experience ever recently... I was selected to be a bridesmaid for a good friend whom I introduced her to her hubby, so I felt kind of obligated to do this.

I did not know all that was involved with being a bridesmaid.... I mean come on I thought wooo a bridal party whoopty doo... boy was I wrong

I had never been more humiliated in my whole life. First dress shopping was madness, I was shopping with two girls that were size 2 and size 10. OH MY GOD! I was a tight 24.

How mortifying! I had to drive two hours away to get my dress. I was so mortified already and it was not even close to the wedding.And then.... after getting dressed and going through with the wedding... a website was sent out with all the wedding pics posted, everyone and even people that didn't attend received this website, even people I was in high school with! and this is the picture that just made me re-think everything, and break down into tears...

there it is... thats me all of me. over 300 lbs. god how did i let myself get this fat?

Since then... I have been so... down and so... I am not even sure how to describe it.. .I have never really seen myself as looking like that, a stuffed sausage basically... with spanx and everything!

I just.... I need to change.. I want to be healthy, I want to go to the gym, I want a healthier life style for myself. For a change I am tired of letting my laziness and my emotions eat the best of me....

It is my time to shine.